My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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