The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
