you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
