I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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