he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
