Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
