Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
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You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
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at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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