That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
