you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
