Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
third nipple confirmed
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize