Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
