well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
