Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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