Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
