I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
In other news, I just burned my penis
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
