YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
