My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
