lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
