Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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