did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
