just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
