Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize