trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
