I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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