Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
do herpes really smell.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
