I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
