: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.