If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.