Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??