So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
