I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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