im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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