and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
