If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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