you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I enjoy the company of your penis
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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