i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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