New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
