Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
