she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize