in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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