My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
