This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
