Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize