you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm having to shit out rocks
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
