Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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