just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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