I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I've blown a few things in my day
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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