Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize