is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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