WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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