What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
