So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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