Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
