It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
why is half of my head shaved?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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