Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
