You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
