Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
