Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
