Plan B is the new Plan A
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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