You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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